I have very unfortunately now learned the art of Internet browsing which means I can be tempted by so many more things than you could possibly encounter on a non-virtual shopping expedition. I know, I should be searching for something specific, getting the best deal and getting out of there.
But... I get curious and then I start clicking away...
So today the delivery man just struggled up to the door with mysterious packages that have got the dogs noses a-twitching. And possibly the neighbours talking as the severed body parts arriving may make some of the vegetarians amongst us faint - so please do not read on if you are squeamish.
Our tasting panel is missing its canine version of Michael Winner, so we'll have to wait for a meaningful review.
Oscar is off being groomed and doubtless flirting with all the glamorous Toy Poodles and the bravest cats in the world, so we are down to Tess the Springer Spaniel who will eat cardboard and think it's really delicious and Ferris the baby pup who can't be fed on anything outside his normal diet for fear of upset tums.
But until Oscar returns looking bouffant and fabulous, check out some of the weird and wonderful items we'll be getting Oscar to review. Tess can have some too, of course, but I can tell you now, her only comment will be "can I have some more!" For fear of gluttony we'll be testing a body part a day and taking notes as to speed of consumption and eagerness to devour!
Oscar and Tess have had pigs ears before, and lots of them - just got a box of 50 or 25 pairs! And they are to date both dogs favourite things. In fact if they won't come to their name for any reason (rabbit chasing, interesting smell etc) I just yell "pigs ears" and they both come running. Passers by must think I've got a strange form of Tourettes!
Oscar really does taste everything he ingests. He is either incredibly suspicious or just very thorough at chewing properly. (Maybe he has enhanced taste buds to make up for the fact he can't see so much of the time because he's pulled his hair bobble out? He can certainly hear better than Tess or indeed most bats! If the bin man is within a five mile radius we know all about it!)
And if you have a more unusual treat to try, please do send them in or tip us off as I have to say the arrival of these strange objects from Mutley and Mog have caused the kind of hysteria that must break out at the offices of Grazia or Elle magazine when a new Louis Vuitton bag is sent in for test!