Monday, 2 July 2007

Helping the police with their enquiries

With the country at the highest possible security alert, you’d imagine the police force would be stretched to the limits.
It’s hard to rationalize then why this weekend two dogs escaping from their owner’s garden (four weeks ago and counting) could be perceived by the force as nearing the top of the ‘must solve’ crimes.
Plus, they already know who is to blame.
It was a bunch of fairly mad cows that knocked down the fence that led to two beloved Poodles escaping - causing their owners much worry and heartache.
What the dogs got up to when they were missing is open to speculation – but whatever they did, it was unlikely to be premeditated and now that the fence has been repaired and reinforced they don’t seem to present any clear and present danger to our society.
But a month on, the two pet Poodles are still being held by the police at a secret location. Terrorists can only be held for 28 days. Poodles are obviously much more scary.
This weekend, with the country reeling from car bomb plots, Sussex police decided the most productive thing to do was to bring Peter, the co-owner of the dogs, in for further questioning.
When Peter asked for a specific date and time so that his solicitor could attend, he was allocated today, Monday at 4pm. He was warned if he didn’t show up they’d come to his house and re-arrest him.
The police also called to enquire whether the two Poodles needed a trim! It transpires that in the last month neither dog has been groomed while in police ‘care’.
Will be back when I have more news.
Ironically this same weekend I heard from someone who had found a stray dog. They had attempted to hand it in to the police, but they wouldn’t take it.
Who knows what that dog had been up to! I’m sure extensive forensic tests would have revealed the dog had broken some laws…


Anonymous said...

Maybe the Poodles could be "tagged" and released, then if they are not home by tea time they would self destruct, isn't that how those criminal tags work?

Jon M said...

Quite incredible. Don't they have anything better to do. Going to check my boundaries don't want my two Gorehounds escaping and becoming public enemies number one and two.

Beverley Cuddy said...

Are Gorehounds a new eco-designer breed - low emissions but strangely unelectable?
And exploding tags... get on to the patent office now. But isn't there a danger of creating canine suicide bombers? I am already worried that future generations of Poodles may feel alienated by the way they've been treated by our society and form diversive factions.

Jon M said...

Actually 'gorehounds' are really Jack Russell's with a rather peachy attitude but they like to think they're hard! :-)

Beverley Cuddy said...

I've seen your Jack Russells and the wanton damage they have inflicted on innocent shoes... You're just lucky they've repealed the Footwear Act or you could have found yourself experiencing the long arm of the law, too.