The Sussex serious crime squad have been active again. Would you believe they have had a doggie ID parade – a line-up for their best/only eye-witness who saw ‘something black’ in a field at night.
As the Poodles’ owners or their solicitor were not present they were unable to verify if the police had managed to find similar-enough looking dogs for justice to be done.
For example – picking a black Poodle out of a line-up of West Highland White Terriers is much easier than picking the right two Poodles out of a line-up of eight of the same breed.
Plus you also have hair styles to consider – lamb cut or lion? Shaggy or clipped. Tight curl or relaxed…? Recently groomed – or four weeks of police ‘care’?
And how long did it take the police to track down their line-up of doggie doubles and how did they go about it? Did they hang about in parks saying can I borrow your dog – it looks like a criminal to me?
The police also accused Sussex’s most wanted (sorry I mean the Poodle owners) of tampering with evidence.
They claimed that the dogs had been washed!
Now I’m no expert, but I’ve seen CSI Miami. You slaughter a flock of sheep using only your teeth and paws and you’re not going to be able to wash off all the evidence!
The police took the dogs away for forensic testing and are now complaining that when the dogs were ‘arrested’ they were ‘pristine’.
Compared to being left ungroomed in a cell for a month, they probably were gleaming.
Isn’t there something called the Animal Welfare Bill now – something called Duty of Care.
Shouldn’t the police be questioning themselves?
Jill and Peter have a new lawyer who they have nicknamed 'the Bulldog'. They seem a bit happier and hope some day to stop being criminals - to get back to organising dressage competitions and doing agility with their dogs.