Our trip to the cinema today to watch new release Marmaduke was surprisingly stimulating. I took three nine year olds who laughed all the way through and weren't too old and cynical to wince at the worst bits of green screening and CGI. Although Pixar it certainly wasn't.
I could go on about the terrible ear cropping on so many dogs but most obviously the Great Dane.
I could go on about the very odd casting. Why have a beautiful 100% Australian Shepherd playing a mutt? And what was that odd looking cross playing the angry pedigree macho dog?
I could get cross about them showing drugging the dog and cat before their flight - which is all wrong and against all the aviation guidelines.
But instead I'll tell you about their fantastic invention for making dogs appear to look into an actor's eyes. You don't see the prop in the film, I've just read about it since.
Such a simple idea yet such a brilliant one.
And no, not spectacles made of compressed meat - a normal pair of spectacles without lenses but with the top of a fork incorporated into the nose rest.
Simply attach a piece of chicken or beef etc to the fork to get the dog to look into the actor's eyes.
I don't know why, but I want a pair!
The film has a terrible rating on Rotten Tomatoes but I didn't drop off for nearly as long as I normally do in kid's films.
Perhaps that's what I need - film stars wearing Jaffa Cake glasses to keep me focused!
Here's the full story so you know I didn't make it up!