I've been digging in and talking to breeders in a few places, trying not to take offence when someone says something nasty and personal, and I do think it's worth it in the long run.
I have to admit to being human though.
Two nights ago I was reduced to tears by a post on the Our Dogs forum by a man calling himself Frank ("bad-animal" was his identity):
"For a woman to come from a top class show family and have her attitude is beyond our understanding.
Her family must be so proud.
Not many words. So why does it make my eyes sting?
It all centres on whether Frank knew my parents and if he knows me.
I can think of two Franks from when I was a child in the dog show world. And if it is someone who knew them and me, then this is indeed a very cruel post.
My mum died only a couple of years ago, my dad a few years before that. Both died suddenly and traumatically - one suddenly in my front room within three weeks of a cancer diagnosis, the other with me at her side in hospital after three months of terrible suffering. It all still feels very raw - like it was yesterday.
I do feel very alone, I do miss them so much - their encouragement meant the world to me.
They were massive influences, the most supportive parents anyone could ever hope for. They believed strongly in truth and justice and it was my Dad that inspired me never to be afraid of bullies. To stand up and fight rather than run away.
He achieved so much in his life, came such a long way and was loved and admired by so many people. Mum was a very great character, too.
It meant a lot to have the approval and backing of my parents.
Having "Frank" mention my parents seems a really massive intrusion. An out of scale attack.
All I want to do is make things better for dogs, why attack me?